Part 2: When Faith Fails Her-How Religion Becomes a Weapon in the Hands of Abusers Silence That Protect Abusers From the Series: What They Did Behind Closed Doors

⚠️ Content Note: This post discusses sexual violence within marriage, spiritual abuse, and the weaponization of religious doctrine. Please read with care, and pause if needed. Protect your peace.

Too many women are crying behind closed doors.

And when they finally speak, they are met not with justice — but judgment.

“God hates divorce.”

But does he prefer rape in marriage instead?

This is the question no one in religious spaces is answering because too many pulpits and platforms are protecting predators.

She Walked In With the Truth

She walked into her religious leader’s office with trembling hands and shame swimming in her eyes.

Her husband — a respected brother in the faith, a regular at vigils and study groups had been forcing himself on her for years.

No consent. No tenderness. No love.

Just violence, wrapped in the blanket of marital entitlement.

She whispered the word she was taught not to say: rape.

He called it his right.

The religious leader barely blinked.

“You need to pray more, daughter. Submission is your covering. This is just a season.”

No rebuke.

No accountability.

No protection.

Just complicity disguised as silence the same silence that has protected men like her husband for decades, and punished women like her for daring to speak.

The Gospel of Silence

Religious spaces are supposed to be sanctuaries.

But for too many women, they’ve become battlegrounds.

In homes where scripture is quoted fluently but love is absent, abuse is dressed up in holy language.

Let’s be clear:

Marital rape is not a spiritual attack.

It is a crime.

And calling it anything less is spiritual malpractice.

When Faith Is Weaponized

Here’s how abusers twist sacred texts into tools of control:

From the Bible:

“Wives, submit to your husbands…” (Ephesians 5:22)

→ A verse about mutual reverence, twisted into a demand for blind obedience.

“The wife does not have authority over her own body…” (1 Corinthians 7:4)

→ Misused to erase a woman’s right to say no.

From the Qur’an:

“Your wives are a tilth for you…” (Qur’an 2:223)

→ Abused to justify ownership over a woman’s body.

“It is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion…” (Qur’an 4:19)

→ Conveniently ignored in cultures where marriage is treated like possession.

And yet, both the Bible and the Qur’an emphasize compassion, mercy, and mutual respect in marriage verses that are too often silenced by abusers and their protectors.

“Love is patient, love is kind… it does not dishonor others.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)

“And He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Let me ask plainly:

Did Christ violate the church?

Did the Prophet teach violence as love?

Then why are men allowed to violate their wives — and call it faith?

The Real Reason She Stays

It’s not weakness.

It’s not foolishness.

It’s not because she doesn’t believe in freedom.

It’s because she was taught that leaving means losing her place in heaven.

That divorce makes her a spiritual failure.

That being a “good wife” means being a quiet, compliant one — no matter the cost to her body or her soul.

“I didn’t just fear my husband,” one woman told me.

“I feared that if I left him, I’d lose God too.”

This is not faith.

This is fear — disguised in robes and religious language.

The Failure of the Pulpit and the Platform

Far too many religious leaders are preaching submission without teaching respect.

They quote holy texts but ignore human dignity.

They offer prayers instead of protection.

They urge silence instead of accountability.

Here’s the truth:

If your doctrine protects the abuser and silences the abused, it’s not religion — it’s corruption.

So What Needs to Be Preached?

Let this be said without apology.

Consent is sacred — even in marriage.

God doesn’t bless abuse.

Submission is not slavery.

Silence is not godliness.

Divorce is not a greater sin than rape.

Let that sink in.

Reflection Question:

How many women in your religious circle are silently suffering because they believe God prefers their pain over their peace?

To Every Survivor Silenced by Scripture:

Your truth is sacred.

Your healing is holy.

And you were never meant to carry this alone.

There is a love greater than the lie that kept you silent.

Next in the Series:

Post 3 drops next Sunday:

“When the Law Doesn’t Believe Her: How the System Fails Victims of Marital Rape”

We’ll expose the legal loopholes, cultural denial, and justice systems that still refuse to call marital rape a crime.

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Sae Abiola

A name that means radiant and blessed, born into abundance.

Rooted in grace, carried by purpose,

and guided by peace.

© 2025 Sae Abiola. All rights reserved.